Sunday, October 23, 2011

It's My Party, and I'll Cry If I Want To....

Today is my 57th birthday....trying to wrap my head around this.

I can't help but reflect on 56....what a year!  Let's see:
Ovarian Cancer
Hysterectomy
3 Extensive rounds of chemotherapy
Lost My Hair....actually it was kinda fun to be bald
Tired and fatigued
Neuropathy pain intensified by chemo
-constant burning, tingling, numbness in feet & shooting pains like a knife
-difficulty walking
Chemo Brain...yes it's a real thing!
Carpal Tunnel
Skin Cancer
Symptoms of Agoraphobia

I don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself today....just wanted to lay it all out.
I have many blessings in my life:

My Faith
A loving and helpful husband
My son and grandson
A few good friends

Yes, I am feeling a little melancholy right now as I reflect on my life.  I'm missing my parents today....they were wonderful and provided a functional home for my sister, brother and myself.

I'll be okay, God is on my side.
I'm going to seek His guidance and learn to hear His voice.
I will be still, listen and learn from the Master.

Thanks for listening....
Blessings To All
Susie
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20 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 23, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Happy Birthday!
    You have had a very challenging year. Mother Teresa says "The Lord never gives us more than we can handle." He has faith in you. When I feel blue I give myself a short time to feel my pain (say 1 hour) to cry be angry...whatever I feel. Then I have to let it go and focus on all the good for the rest of the day. I hope your grandson is around to cheer you up. Best wishes for a happy day and a wonderful year. Be strong!

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  2. Laura at Ms. Smartie PantsOctober 23, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    There are some years I would give back and then I realize that even in the pain and chaos there were blessings. I don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself, just acknowledging your life. :)Today you are here, that calls for celebration! Blessings to you! Happy 57th Birthday! And many many more!!!

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  3. The Green PeaOctober 23, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    Happy Birthday and may God bless you with many more.

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  4. NanaDianaOctober 23, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    Susie! Well, let's just say that being 56 was just a crummy year for you! But, hey! Now that you are 57 things are bound to take an Upturn...except for the body parts that will droop a bit more! Wait'll you hit 60!!!

    Even though you were horribly sick God got you through another year...and I have a feeling that this one is going to be so much better! I am so glad that you have family and friends that you can count on for support...and anytime you want to "holler your heart out" privately you can just email me...because what happens in MY email-stays in my Email! (I got my own little private LasVegas going on here!;>)

    I always try to warn people about chemo brain but nobody believes it until it happens to them. That WILL pass! And, if you get senile early you can ALWAYS blame it on ChemoBrain!

    Happy, Happy Birthday to you Susie- xo Diana

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  5. ShabbyESPOctober 23, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Happy Birthday Susie!!!
    What awful things you endured last year but

    Happy Birthday to you and may you have the best year!!!
    Suzann ~xoxo

    P.S. We need a Central Florida get together don't you think?

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  6. DestinyOctober 23, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    Happy Birthday! I've found that as I get older (though I just hit 35), I think of birthdays completely differently. I look at them as another year gone by that I survived. You have certainly had some major challenges in your life, but are so blessed to be able to celebrate another birthday! With all of the cancers of the world, car wrecks, diseases, etc...we are very fortunate to be able to hear "Happy Birthday" for yet, another year. I pray that this year will be MUCH less challenging for you and that you'll have a great birthday!!!

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  7. sweetpeaOctober 23, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    happy birthday my friend. you've been through alot but you have your faith and michael to see you through. blessings to you for many more years to come.

    hugs,

    shelley

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  8. lynnOctober 23, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Congratulations on another year of LIFE!!!! Sounds like your last year was indeed a tough one. I am going through a medical therapy similar to chemo right now so I do understand the difficulty. I can't wait till mine ends!

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  9. SylviaOctober 23, 2011 at 5:44 PM

    Happy Birthday to you,
    Happy Birthday to you,
    Happy Birthday Dear Susie,
    Happy Birthday to you...

    You deserve all the best!!!

    Sylvia

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  10. Sandi~A Cottage MuseOctober 23, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Happy, Happy Birthday Susie!
    Celebrate all that you've been through and face this new year with a smile!

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  11. Olde Tyme MarketplaceOctober 23, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    Susie~
    My gosh , what a reflection on your past year. You did have a full plate. Look at what a strong woman you are! I am amazed at your honesty and honored to know you thru this wonder world of blogging.
    You truly are a blessing. Kick 56 to the curb girl~ and embrace 57 with everything you've and them some.
    You deserve a year full of joy!
    xoxo,
    Beth

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  12. oldgreymareOctober 23, 2011 at 10:58 PM

    Hello sweetie
    Happy Birthday!
    Reflecting on your life, assessing your journey is not feeling sorry for yourself, it is just a mental checkup of sorts.... you visited mine earlier in the week :D
    So 57 is just 57, not 58 1/2 like me lol or 59 like one gal, or 65 like another pal....of course it's not like my other gal pal either who is so beautiful and YOUNG ( and running for Mrs Eagle Idaho) damn her <3
    anyhoot, point is it's just a number and every increased number is better than the alternative so I celebrate you with a HOOT A WOOT and A HOLLER...you go girl!!!!!

    xx
    z

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  13. BECKYOctober 23, 2011 at 11:10 PM

    First of all Susie...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! God celebrates the day He breathed life into you, and so do I!! WOOHOO!!

    I'm close behind you! I'll be 54 in May, and don't even know how it is possible. The last 7 years since my folks both left this earth have been quite a whirlwind, with moments of gut wrenching grief, joy in knowing they are both in the presence of God, one health issue after another, menopause, becoming a Nana, starting a business, enduring a church upheaval...the list could go on. BUT, any affliction pales in comparison to the absolute JOY of belonging to God, and knowing that He always has my best interest at the top of His priorities, as He does yours.

    I love times of reflection like you're having. They do bring a sense of melancholy, yet we can see God's goodness in keeping us through all the years we've been here, and feel joy, too.

    Big hugs to you, sweetie!
    I would love to meet up with you and hubby for a little at the Extravaganza!! I'll be in touch!
    Love,
    Becky

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  14. sassytrashOctober 24, 2011 at 6:44 AM

    Susie, how courageous you are in a million different ways! And in all those ways you inspire us with your amazing honesty, grace and humor! Thank you so much for sharing your life and loves with us! Happy Birthday! I know 57 will be filled with immeasurable blessings!

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  15. auntpOctober 24, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Happy Birthday, Susie! I hope this next year will be a blessed one for you. You are a delightful person who deserves the best. I hope to get a chance to see you in person again someday.
    Love,
    Paula

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  16. AnonymousOctober 25, 2011 at 9:32 PM

    Happy Birthday! You have a beautiful home...add that to your list of blessings!
    ♥Linsey
    http://farmhouseporch.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-found-hidden-treasure-in-my-home.html

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  17. UnknownOctober 26, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Happy belated birthday Susie, better late than never right? You had such a great year of growth. You went through it and came out MUCH stronger. I too battled cancer this year and had a hysterectomy. We gain strength, both internally and externally in the most hardest of struggles.
    Here's to a wonderful year filled with love and joy : )
    Hugs ~
    Deanna

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  18. Laura @ 52 FLEAOctober 28, 2011 at 3:23 AM

    Happy Birthday Susie!
    Hoping the year ahead brings all good things to you! Lots of love, Laura :)

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